Wheels

I appreciate the symmetry of teaching your kid to ride a bike not too long after welcoming them into the world and teaching them how to drive a car not too long before they go out to explore the world on their own. It is poetic.

Rescued

At a certain point it seems like people who rescue a dog should stop referring to them as ‘my rescue dog’. Like, at a certain point shouldn’t it just be ’my dog’? If it’s been ‘my rescue dog’ for several years, it either seems like you’re still milking your good act for some kind of clout, or you’re low key threatening your dog not to get out of line: ‘I rescued you, bitch! Don’t forget it!’

BEWARE

My neighbor has a sign that reads ‘BEWARE OF THE DOG’, but he has two dogs. My question is, which one of these motherfuckers can’t I trust?