Sunday, June 23, 2024

We are History

It is both intimidating and humbling to realize the we are the first historical figure our children will do a deep analysis and study of. They will fully understand our worldview, our ethics, our politics...our entire overall philosophy of life, but also be able to balance what we say we believe with what our actions—and their experience of those actions—reveal about what we actually believe. Our children are the foremost scholars of our lives and works, and although they may not write their findings in an actual book, how we interacted with their world is imprinted on every page of their lives.

Saturday, June 22, 2024

Different Strokes

I had a little bit of a stroke after midnight on Thursday. I am ok, my face is still a little funny, my battery isn’t charging fully yet, and I have to wear a heart monitor for a month, but I’m glad it happened, and Thursday was a great day for me. I told the boys I was having a stroke and I called 911. Then I told them I loved them and if anything happened to me they should take good care of each other. I texted the woman I love to let her know what was going on, texted the boys’ mom so she would know what was happening and that the boys were safe, and then I texted my boss so he knew I wouldn’t be in to work, and let him know either I or one of my sons would keep him posted. Then I went outside and sat on the front steps of my porch and waited for the ambulance. I felt calm, and wasn’t afraid. I knew the boys would be fine and take care of each other if the worst happened, and I knew there wasn’t anything I needed to say to anyone. I am far from a saint but I try to live right, and I think the way I felt at that moment validated my general approach to life.All of the boys stayed cool. I taught them to be that way. Eliot stayed with Langston, and Lewis rode with me to the hospital and stayed with me through the night. I spent the next day surrounded by people I love and getting messages from people I love. The mood was light and joyous, and I was glad I had cut out a bunch of bad habits a few years before, because God knows it could have been worse had I not. There is nothing wrong or regrettable about having a real experience. They are actually ALL real experiences really. I am happy to be here while I am, and I definitely learned a couple things. I am saving the most important photo from that day for a different occasion, but here are some other pics. The stuffed hedgehog is something Langston bought from the hospital gift shop for me. I named him Strokey.

Friday, June 14, 2024

The Upward Pull of the Human Soul

Tonight, the clouds over Eastgate look like pictures I have seen of towns in Japan at the base of Mount Fuji. If I could find the base of this mountain, I feel like if I climbed to the top I might find God. Maybe he would tell me some deep truth, or maybe he would make me fight him. But these are just clouds. I can’t even imagine what it would be like to grow up with Mount Fuji dominating the horizon. The way it must inform the psychosphere of the people, and contribute to their mythology and outlook on life has to be incredible.

Wednesday, June 5, 2024

Saturday, June 1, 2024

Grapes

I think grapes have to be the best fruit. Taste wise, it probably goes to watermelon or pineapple, but they lose some points because of portability and the need to carve them. Grapes are delicious, don’t need to be carved, and are easy to carry around. They win.