Ingredients

I have come to accept that all of us are full of shit to a certain extent. I guess the goal in life is to keep the percentage of shit on our ingredients label as low as possible, like, say, under 10%, and to cram in as many virtues as possible without completely ruining the flavor. We all need to meet our daily requirements of compassion, patience, and humility, with just the right mix of vice and neurosis to maintain our patented taste. Too much of the secret sauce causes diabeetus of course, and we never want to tip the full-of-shit balance so heavily that our label reads ‘Complete Shit, now with human flavoring’.

So Many Poisons to Choose From

I just had my first casino experience. Aside from having a vision of how easily and quickly I could blow up my own life flash before my eyes, the most interesting part of the experience was how easy it was to tell the difference between the folks who wanted to be there, and the folks who HAD to be there.

How We Learn

There are truths in life that I have come to believe we will learn one of two ways:

1. By having an open heart and mind, by being willing and able to look inside of yourself, and having the humility needed to honestly assess your own strengths, weaknesses, triggers, and history, so that when these inevitable truths come to you, you are ready to receive them.

2. By pain.

Unfortunately, I’ve had to learn many important lessons by the second means, due to personal pride, magical thinking, or ego. 

Because I am deeply invested in being the best father I can be to my children—and realizing that kids learn more from how we behave than what we say—I am trying my hardest to reorient myself to receiving my lessons from the first means. It’s challenging, because we are pattern seeking animals designed to feel discomfort whenever we are forced to step outside of our own personal rituals, delusions, and thought processes.

We will all be humbled. The question is, do we embrace it, or have it forced upon us?

The Theologian

I know there's no god because my chihuahua's tail sticks straight up in the air so he walks around and everyone can see his asshole. I don't know what kind of god would do something like that.

Take Your Own Advice

Man, if I didn’t have so much cognitive dissonance over my failure to apply all of the brilliant ‘this is how to be happy and have a meaningful life’ advice I so freely offer others to my own life, I would probably be happier and living a more meaningful life.

On the Death of American Presidents

There has not been a president yet who hasn’t ruthlessly ordered the murder of numerous human beings to benefit their own careers. Yet it is anathema to mention these war crimes upon their deaths. Posts about their passing are always loving eulogies without qualifiers from their tribe, or loving eulogies from the opposing popular tribe with the qualifier, ‘maybe I didn’t agree with all of their policies, but...they were a good man, etc.’ This is gross. All 45 of our presidents have blood on their hands, and the rival tribes are different variations of capitalist original and capitalist diet. The fact that all the leaders of the ruling class in this country have to do is live at least a few years past their years in power to become respected elder statesmen harkening back to a better time—however many lives they’ve destroyed and families they’ve disrupted—should make everyone vomit. But I’m the troll, right?

Narrative Structure

Personal flaw: the compulsion to look for a bad guy and a good guy in every story. But what if there is no bad guy? Even more frightening: what if there is no good guy?

National Priorities

Thought experiment: we all agree that Donald Trump is the manifestation of all that is bad about America. He is the puss-head of America’s deviancy that we so badly want to pop. However, he has used his idiot abilities and carny talents to achieve everything he has ever wanted. And our disdain for him and underestimation of his perverted skill set has been used as leverage by him to become president (of all of us) and cult leader (for a significant portion of us). How do we defeat him? Righteous indignation obviously won’t work because it is boring to a culture hooked on sensationalism and dog whistles. As a social worker, my first thought is we need to be humble, self aware, conscious of our personal triggers, and aware of our public presentation. What do you think? Are you willing to overcome your own demons in order to overcome the specter of fascism?

Addressing the Issue

Never allow yourself to believe that just because you have recognized a problem, you have done something to correct it. Be the problem in society, at work, in a relationship, or inside of yourself, issuing a grievance about how things ‘should’ be versus how they actually are is not a contribution. It’s good that you see where things are broken, but how are you going to fix them? And if you can’t fix them, how are you going to navigate the brokenness to find the desired outcome? It’s great that you found Waldo. But how are you going to kill him?

Happy Thanksgiving!

I hope every one of you enjoys your Thanksgiving holiday, and remembers the bottom line of what the holiday is about. Being thankful. Im writing this as much for myself as I am for you, but, in spite of whatever tribulations we are all experiencing at this moment, we are alive right now. Most people who have ever lived are dead now, so the spotlight is on us, and we—at least—have some rights in regard to whatever narrative we are spinning with our personal stories. We are still in the driver’s seat. Here’s what I am grateful for:

1. I participated in creating and raising—still raising—3 amazing human beings who are endlessly interesting and full of potential.

2. I am doing a job that I love and gives me a deep sense of meaning. 

3. I have family and friends that love me and understand me, and show up for me when I need it.

4. Ideas. Books. Songs. Movies. Stories. I am so grateful for art, and what it can do to (and for) the human soul.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Cincinnati

FYI, I was just on the phone with customer service and I couldn’t hear the representative clearly while they were talking. I said, ‘Sorry?’ and she adjusted something and sounded much clearer, and then said, ‘is this better?’ and I said, ‘Yes, that’s better’. Then she said, ‘Are you from Cincinnati?’ I paused and realized that I had said ‘sorry?’ and answered, ‘Yes’. She said, ‘You good?’ and I responded, ‘Yeah, I’m good’. and we both laughed and went on with the call.

Store Brand

I am honestly surprised that it took as long as it did for store-brand to catch on to the profitability of ‘Hawaiian’ bread. Since when has any American company ever lost money adding sugar to a basic commodity? I’m legit waiting for the Kroger brand of ‘Hawaiian’ roll toilet paper.

The Truth Kanye Told

You know what truth was told in Kanye West’s weird monologue in the White House? It was a truth that only someone speaking from the root of their own mental illness and trauma could tell. He talked about how Donald Trump’s public persona acted as a salve to his own wounded masculinity. That is some deep truth. Trump is officially the candidate for the men—and the wives of those men—who embraced the generic masculinity ascribed by our popular culture, and have taken every hole poked in that flimsy mythology as a hole poked in their own soul. I guarantee you that no man who voted for Trump had a healthy father, and by extension didn’t/doesn’t have a healthy relationship with their father. And, as is required by the power of the myth they had consumed, found a mate who had their own problems with their wounded and wounding fathers, and found a partner for themselves that was infected by the same disease their own fathers had. This is the truth Kanye told, and he was only free to tell it as someone more enthralled to his own disease than he was to the requirements of our wider culture.

Opinions In Cars

What’s the deal with middle aged men recording YouTube rants in their cars? Why is this a thing? I’m interested in the cultural/psychological/sociological roots of this phenomenon. Why is it middle aged men? Why in the car? Why do you still have your seatbelt on? People are fascinating.

Playlist for 5 Year Old Me

I decided today to make a playlist for 5 year old me. It will contain all of the earliest songs I can remember liking.

Here’s the track list:

1. On Top of the World - Van Halen
2. Panama - Van Halen
3. Jump - Van Halen
4. Down on the Corner - CCR
5. Bad Leroy Brown - Jim Croce
6. You Don’t Mess Around With Jim - Jim Croce
7. Mr. Blue Sky -Electric Light Orchestra
8. Pretty Woman - Roy Orbison
9. You Got It - Roy Orbison
10. The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald - Gordon Lightfoot
11. I Don’t Want to Live on the Moon - Ernie, from Sesame Street

This is actually a pretty sweet playlist.

Voice Messages

I love reading voice message transcriptions on my phone because no matter how careful a person is to consider every word and present professionally, the transcription captures every ‘um’ and ‘like’ in text. Things that humanize people are beautiful.

Advice

there is a hustle to every business.

At the Drop of a Hat

“At the drop of a hat”. Intended to mean a super-reactionary response, before all of the evidence is in. What is it about the sound of a hat hitting the floor that makes certain people do rash things? Is there a unique sound? Does it trigger a primitive response? Does it matter what kind of hat? I need to know.

Free Speech

Do you ever suspect that people who say things like ‘I’m entitled to my opinion’ and reference their right to free speech in debate believe that these things somehow validate whatever stupid argument they’re making?

You Have to Love Yourself First

When I get around to purging toxic relationships from my life, my alarm clock will be first to go.