Love Languages

When I was a small human
I would collect little pebbles
And leaves and interesting sticks
And bugs and flowers
And give them to my parents
It was how I said ‘I love you’

As I got older and made friends
I would make mix tapes
And burn CD’s
And create homemade covers
And give them to my friends
It was how I said I loved them

Now I have kids
I do the same things for them
Teach them recipes and buy them books
That helped me understand how to live

And they practice the same method
I’ve got shelves of grade school clay contraptions
And framed pictures they drew
And all kinds of recommendations they gave me
That say, ‘Dad, I love you too’.



“Preach the gospel at all times, use words when necessary”

I can never remember if that quote is from St. Augustine or Thomas Aquinas. Some dead guy who loved God and never had sex definitely said it though.

Patient Zero

I think ‘Patient Zero’ is a rude nomenclature. What if this person has self esteem issues? What if they feel like a habitual loser? We’re going to call them a Zero the first time in their life they’ve actually been first at something? Not me, man. I’m Trauma Informed. I say it’s time for Patient Hero.

It’s All About Who You Know

One of the best side effects of working in the homeless services for 10+ years is that I can’t walk down the street in downtown Cincinnati without someone calling out ‘Mr. Spencer!’ and initiating a conversation. The perk is that because of this, I’ve had the opportunity to introduce my kids to so many interesting and inspiring people as we have walked around. I am telling the truth when I say I am prouder by far to be shouted out on the street by a former client in front of my kids than I would be in front of whatever celebrity or ‘successful’ person.

Schopey

As I sit in the parking lot waiting for my client to walk out of the building their appointment was in, a 60-ish white man on a Harley Davidson drives by with a look of total contentment on his face, blaring some hair metal band (‘You know I’m a dreamer...’), I suddenly realize that Arthur Schopenhauer was the only human being who ever really understood what it means to be a human being.

You Sexy Thing!

“You know the thing.” - Joe Biden

Obama’s former VP just wrote the title of Hot Chocolate’s comeback jam!

Horror Movie Rules

I have a sick feeling we haven’t seen the last of Mayor Pete. I’m waiting to see him in his final form, as Bloomberg’s VP. I don’t believe he has the humility to just drop out because ‘the math doesn’t work’. I can hear him in the walls already, chewing on wires...