The Proud People of Eastgate

 I know I make jokes about Living in Eastgate from time to time, but ultimately, it is all with love. For good or ill, these are my people. Driving up to Kroger to get ingredients for S’mores, because it’s a relatively cool night, and good for a backyard fire, wearing a tank top and a Kangol hat, chain smoking menthol cigarettes with my windows down and Type O Negative’s cover of Summer Breeze blaring, I pull into a spot next to a guy who is probably my age and is aging just as badly, wearing a visor, full sleeve tattoos, loading his trunk with groceries while 3 to 5 different kids are yelling things at him. The guy hears my music and says, ‘Type O Negative? Hell yeah.’ And I say, ‘Hell yeah’, totally unironically, and go into the store to get stuff for my backyard fire. This is my place.

No Invincible Armies

 “History has shown there are no invincible armies” - Joseph Stalin

This quote should give aid and comfort to anyone experiencing a struggle of any kind, whether personal or working towards a higher goal, whatever the odds look like. No obstacle is insurmountable.

There Is No Longer Any Point

 I forgot that I had just chopped up a Serrano pepper and rubbed my eyes. Now my face is on fire. My life is ruined.

Vehicle Maintenance

It is so dumb that only now, at the age of 39, am I fully appreciating the importance of vehicle maintenance. Both of my literal car, but also my own overall health. To realize that my actual car probably serves as the perfect metaphor for my own personal health is alarming, which those who have seen my car will appreciate. We all want to be happy and successful, but if you’re working hard at achieving goals and helping others, but neglecting the vehicles you use to navigate this world, you are self-limiting, and are destined to break down. Here’s to being less dumb about that type of shit.

Let’s Go For A Walk

So, when I’m taking Loki for a walk, and I sit down in the grass somewhere, and he’s finally ready to move on, he comes up and grabs the leash with his mouth and tries to reverse walk me by tugging on it. I am significantly more stubborn than him though, but I always appreciate effort.

Journalism

At U Scan, paying for my items:

Girl at the U Scan next to me: are you humming?

Me: (totally in my own world, still humming): What? Oh yeah. I guess I am.

Girl: Cool. Sounds nice.

Me: (mildly irritated by the fact that a stranger just praised my public humming for the sake of social convention—which by the way, she had no business commenting on—but also realizing I am not good at being a person in public, and feeling awkward about it): Totally.

No further conversation occurs, I pay for my purchases, gather my bags, and leave the store. This is journalism.