Wheels

I appreciate the symmetry of teaching your kid to ride a bike not too long after welcoming them into the world and teaching them how to drive a car not too long before they go out to explore the world on their own. It is poetic.

FUCK TUCKER CARLSON!

It is a strange thing to see working people upset that Tucker Carlson was fired from his job, and somehow comparing it to themselves and their own plight. 1. Tucker will be fine. Financially, he has been more fine than you will ever be since the day he was born. 2. Tucker made a living advocating that bosses should be able to fire people exactly like you, and he believed those bosses should be celebrated for doing so. 3. Tucker wasn’t fired for being a brave truth teller. He was fired because he became a liability to the income stream of the company. If the same thing happened to someone other than himself, Tucker would gleefully celebrate it. Fuck Tucker Carlson. You do more meaningful work in a half hour than that Ivy League, boat shoe wearing twit has done in his whole life. Respect yourself! Don’t mourn the loss of this actual idiot’s fun money stream.

Rescued

At a certain point it seems like people who rescue a dog should stop referring to them as ‘my rescue dog’. Like, at a certain point shouldn’t it just be ’my dog’? If it’s been ‘my rescue dog’ for several years, it either seems like you’re still milking your good act for some kind of clout, or you’re low key threatening your dog not to get out of line: ‘I rescued you, bitch! Don’t forget it!’

BEWARE

My neighbor has a sign that reads ‘BEWARE OF THE DOG’, but he has two dogs. My question is, which one of these motherfuckers can’t I trust?