My Top 5 Favorite Films Of All Time

1. The Life Aquatic 2. In Bruges 3. The Departed 4. No Country For Old Men 5. The Big Chill

Inconsiderate Amusement Parks

why are they playing this sentimental country music over soundsystem at the amusement park? Dont they know my girlfriend just broke up with me? it is awkward to cry in line for a roller coaster. why did the mailman give me this letter? is he trying to prevent me from feeling better? look at him in his little asshole shorts delivering heartbreak from his little asshole bag i hope a bird shits in his little asshole pith helmet

Song: Enoch Was No More

Smells Like

After a chaotic morning at work, I picked up an ‘easy’ client around 1pm. It was generally an enjoyable and no hassle encounter, but what he said (jovially) when he got in my car has stuck with me. ‘Wow Mr. Spencer! It smells good in here! It smells like a cake! What are you wearing?’ I had not purchased any bakery items that morning. I sniffed my shirt. I sniffed my arm. Do I somehow smell like cake? I literally only wear deodorant and patchouli. Do I have the sugar to such an extent that I literally make my surrounding area smell like a confectionary treat? I played his observation off and I think he bought it. However, I am worried that I smell like a donut.

Waking Up

Have you ever been woken from an incredibly vivid dream that you were you were so deeply into that it seems like your entire psyche and each individual sense had to travel great and varying lengths to return to this world? It’s like you know youre waking up, but only insofar as you know your eyes are closed. All of the sensory elements are still present in a kind of ghostly way. Then the images fade. Suddenly you are enveloped by the darkness of your closed eyelids. Then you start to get a sense that you are attached to a body. Maybe you can feel it stretch a little. There are still some auditory elements of the dream world present—and definitely whatever emotional and identity associations you had in the dream—but suddenly you are aware that the stretching body you just detected is attached to the eyelids you initially became aware of, and then you notice that these things belong to you. You become aware of your breathing and open your eyes. The last remnants of whoever you just were dissipate and now you can hear the alarm, which ostensibly woke you up. It’s 6:15 am. You had set the alarm for 6. It took a full 15 minutes for each part of your essential being to reunify into your corporeal state. It feels like each part came back, but sometimes you wonder.

Official Video: I Hope You Fucking Die

From the new smash hit album GOLIATH, available now on Bandcamp here: https://bringmethebeasts.bandcamp.com/album/goliath

Song: I Will Haunt This House When I Die

Song: Goliath

Socialism is a Matter of Proximity

One of the best things about following community pages (especially school and neighborhood pages) is that everyone is a socialist when it affects them directly. Good! Solidarity. One of the worst things about following these community pages is to realize that these people you know directly or indirectly are actually people, and you may not like them, and you can see their pores with everything they post. It’s easy to be a socialist with an abstract proletariat, but when it’s people you know—who outwardly disdain and rage against their own side of the class war as soon as it leaves their county—it requires a certain amount of perspective and humility. I can do it (inshallah), but it is alarming when you see it up close. Solidarity with all of the people! You don’t have to be perfect (and certainly not whatever crazy version of ‘perfect’ I have in my head) to deserve freedom.

Song: But You Needed A Ride Home

Song: Doesn’t Take Much

The same weird alchemy seems to be at work in favor of every other capitalist out there. Also, remember, if you don’t own the factory, you are not a capitalist. It doesn’t matter how much Ayn Rand you have read, crypto you own, or how much you love your boss. If you don’t own the factory, you’re one of us.

Song: I Can Be

Song: Something’s Gonna Spill

Song: Alright Jesus

What if Your Neighbors Were Not The Actual Problem?

Allow yourself to imagine the following scenario: You move into a new neighborhood. Your next door neighbor doesn’t cut his grass as frequently as you think he should. You also don’t like how instead of installing a privacy fence in the backyard, he has allowed the small trees the previous owner of his house planted along the fence line to fully flourish, effectively creating a prettier kind of privacy fence. Imagine that periodically your neighbors have a bonfire in their fire pit throughout the years. And—because you have nothing else to do—you call the fire department. Imagine seeing the fire department pull up, and in each instance, you observe the neighbor and the fireman talking and joking with each other (are they talking and joking about you?). Every time the fireman leaves with a good natured handshake. Imagine you keep gaining weight. Imagine every time you are on the front porch you anxiously look at your neighbor and his sons joyfully living their lives and paying you no mind. But still the grass doesn’t get cut as much as you believe it should, and you take it to the local government several times. And regarding the trees in your neighbor’s yard, you state (on record at a local meeting) ‘I can’t see what they’re doing back there’ as the reason this is cause for concern. Imagine this goes on for years, and then one day, your neighbor hires a landscaper and suddenly all of your complaints are gone. You don’t know why he did it, but he did. Imagine this happens, and—ostensibly—you have been given what you want, BUT, you are still very unhappy. You still don’t feel good. You still wake up in the middle of the night and pace around your yard. You still wring your hands and sit on your front porch looking anxiously at his yard. Something is still wrong. You’re still not happy. What do you do?

Song: I Am In Knots

Song: I Been Working!

No Motherfucking in the Dairy

I just heard one of the most impressive standalone statements I have ever heard. It may actually guide me through the rest of my life. I stopped at the UDF on Winton Road on the way to a client meeting to get a bag of Grippos and a Coke. An older woman and a younger woman walked in right behind me. The younger woman was loudly detailing a conflict she had experienced with someone they both appeared to know, and was using a lot of profanity. The older woman interrupted her with the command: ‘Stop Motherfucking, we in The Dairy’. The younger girl immediately stopped swearing and lowered her voice. The reference to ‘The Dairy’, and the authority in her voice, almost seemed to sanctify UDF. It was impressive. And now I know: You do not Motherfuck in The Dairy. Under no circumstances.

Coffee with Portal

I pulled up my driveway after going to get coffee and decided to just sit there for a minute, listen to Portal, and center myself for the morning. It was still raining a little, and was dark and windy. I had parked next to a large bush that stands at the stairway to my deck, and watched it blowing around in the wind. Then I squinted and stretched my head forward. Was the bush moving closer to me? It was. Was the house moving closer to me? It was. I bordered on dizziness as the chaos in the music intensified, and the entire surface of the world seemed to slide off of its base towards me. Was reality unraveling? Then I realized when I pulled into the driveway I had forgotten to put the car in park, and I had just lifted my foot off the brake. Anyway, Portal is good if you’re into that type of music.