Who Won the VP Debate?

As expected, Sarah Palin came out of the gates strong with a convincing win in the swimsuit competition, but Joe Biden came back fast with a startling upset in the sausage eating contest. It was a dead heat going into the spelling bee, which Biden won by default when Palin missed an ‘s’ while spelling Mississippi backwards. It’s harder than it sounds. When asked what fruit side dish best accompanies Haitian style fugu fish, both candidates stared blankly, but Palin picked up partial credit by feebly offering, ‘…apples?’ No Sarah, it’s toasted mango, but nice try.

Neither candidate passed the field sobriety test, and both candidates cited Marilyn Monroe as their favorite playmate, which means they don’t actually read the magazine.

Things were getting hot moving into the long jump, which Biden won handily (conservatives are crying foul this morning due to the fact that Palin was wearing a skirt and heels: how could she be expected to compete? Fair point.)

But just as things were getting really contentious, the two candidates burst into a moving duet of Islands in the Stream, which had the audience in tears, and on their feet.

Overall I would say the American people were the winners of this V.P. debate, because they got to see what their ticket’s candidates looked like under pressure. The other winner (of course!) was bipartisan giving. All of the proceeds from the post-duet drinking competition went to charity.