Drinking the Mortal Brew: How Do You Afford Your Rock 'n' Roll Lifestyle?

"The leisure time of most men numbs them: activity drives them mad."- Epicurus, 5th Vatican Saying

Let me just put a big disclaimer here at the beginning of this piece: I'm no puritan. In fact, by the standards of many folks, I'm probably quite the deviant: Atheist. Welfare state liberal.Overweight. Casual drinker. Probably around a 2 on the Kinsey Scale. A Woody Allen fan.

Any one of those things are enough to get me burned at the stake in certain states. All of them put together limit my choices of residency considerably.

So, when I talk about the ways in which a person might prefer to spend their off time, don't think I'm coming at you like I just stepped off the Mayflower.

The truth is, this Vatican saying stings me a little bit, because I realize that in many cases, I'm the guy Epicurus is talking about.

While I'm not a glutton when it comes to food, I think I'm something a little bit worse; I don't overeat because I just can't get enough of a good thing, I overeat because--for some reason--I have a blind urge to consume. I am the same way with information. I take in way too much of it. I don't know why. The same demon that drives me to Wendy's to get a frosty after work also drives me to hit up Wikipedia at least a handful of times a day.

And so it goes for so many of our modes of unwinding: drinking and using drugs to excess, meaningless sexual encounters, time wasted on our knees in church, or standing in line at the buffet, ready to load up that plate a second time...

Do Americans suck at downtime because we have too much of it and are spoiled, or is it because the phrase 'Welfare State' is still considered a curse word in much of the country, and the concepts of self-maintenance and certain things being 'ends unto themselves' are completely foreign to us?

I don't know the answer to this question, but I am aware that I could probably benefit from doing a few crunches.

Hmm. I wonder what Wikipedia has to say about that.

Bacon Bits# 1

Abby and I drove separately to the gym today, so I could head to work right after we were finished. Abby took the kids with her, and as they passed me on the road we waved at each other. Abby called me a minute later and told me that as we passed each other Jack said, "I like him". That made my day.

I like you too, Jackie.

Parking In Cincinnati

Dear Sir,

We received your letter wherein you apologized for failing to pay for your space at one of our parking lots. We appreciate that you are new to the city and that it didn't occur to you that you might have to pay to park, but we will unfortunately have to enforce the parking fee.

Failure to pay will result in your car being impounded, and the fee will still be owed.

Welcome to Cincinnati!

Sincerely,

Over and Above Parking Company

*

Dear Sir,

We received your letter stating that you paid for parking, yet didn't realize that you also needed to place your parking ticket visibly on the dashboard of the car. While we see from our records that it is true that you did pay the fee, we will still have to fine you for not leaving the parking receipt visibly on the dashboard of your car.

Failure to pay will result in your car being impounded, and the fee will still be owed.

Sincerely,

Over and Above Parking

*

Dear Sir,

We received your letter stating that you paid for parking, and that you placed your parking receipt visibly on your dashboard. Unfortunately, you did not fold your parking receipt into the pre-requisite origami swan that is specified on the meter instructions. We see that you did indeed attempt to fold your receipt into the pre-requisite swan, but--after passing the receipt around the office and looking at it from several different angles and in different kinds of light--the general consensus is that it looks more like a duck than a swan, and we will--unfortunately--have to enforce the parking fee.

Failure to pay will result in your car being impounded, and the fee will still be owed.

We appreciate your business, and hope you will continue to choose to park with our company in the future!

Sincerely,

Over and Above Parking

Good Vibrations

I just picked up CFI's new ad via Pharyngula:



It gives me Goose-pimply good feelings.