Thursday, March 3, 2011

Parking In Cincinnati


Dear Sir,

We received your letter wherein you apologized for failing to pay for your space at one of our parking lots. We appreciate that you are new to the city and that it didn't occur to you that you might have to pay to park, but we will unfortunately have to enforce the parking fee.

Failure to pay will result in your car being impounded, and the fee will still be owed.

Welcome to Cincinnati!

Sincerely,

Over and Above Parking Company

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Dear Sir,

We received your letter stating that you paid for parking, yet didn't realize that you also needed to place your parking ticket visibly on the dashboard of the car. While we see from our records that it is true that you did pay the fee, we will still have to fine you for not leaving the parking receipt visibly on the dashboard of your car.

Failure to pay will result in your car being impounded, and the fee will still be owed.

Sincerely,

Over and Above Parking

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Dear Sir,

We received your letter stating that you paid for parking, and that you placed your parking receipt visibly on your dashboard. Unfortunately, you did not fold your parking receipt into the pre-requisite origami swan that is specified on the meter instructions. We see that you did indeed attempt to fold your receipt into the pre-requisite swan, but--after passing the receipt around the office and looking at it from several different angles and in different kinds of light--the general consensus is that it looks more like a duck than a swan, and we will--unfortunately--have to enforce the parking fee.

Failure to pay will result in your car being impounded, and the fee will still be owed.

We appreciate your business, and hope you will continue to choose to park with our company in the future!

Sincerely,

Over and Above Parking

2 comments:

Lodo Grdzak said...

Ha!--Oh no! The big city shakedowns begin on day one.

the elegant ape said...

death to the man!
metaphorically of course.