On Warfare

I am incredibly far from the wisest person in the world. I can be proud. I can be stubborn. I am fully capable of accessing every sin and folly imaginable, because I am human, and some traits are just inside of us to one degree or another. So, I'm no Sage, but I have received a few hard won lessons. Here's one of them: if you find yourself in a conflict or argument, the worst thing you can do is try to win. That may seem counterintuitive (I know it did to me for the longest time), but it's the truth. Don't try to win. Try to be correct. Humble yourself enough to allow your mind to consider an alternative opinion or criticism of your person or belief or stance--however aggressively presented--and make yourself willing...no...make yourself GRATEFUL if an adversary proves your point or orientation wrong. To be moved off of an incorrect path by friend, foe, or whatever--however indelicate the correction may be--is a great gift. You don't ever need to win an argument. You need to exit the other side of an argument with the correct information, so you can make whatever adjustments need to be made. If you lie in an argument, you will lose. If you misrepresent your opponent in an argument, you will lose. If you bluster and threaten and thump your chest in an argument, you will lose. Bluster, lying, bravado, clever word games...these are admissions of weakness, and they will be your downfall. If you're fighting with someone, you're fighting for something. But even if you vanquish your foe with your lies, straw man arguments, and bravado, if you are standing on a foundation of sand, you will sink. Conflict requires openness. It requires humility. Even if you rally the whole world around your campaign against one individual or idea, you will know in your heart that you are wrong. And what is wrong will be righted. What is done in the dark will be brought to the light. If you want to win, first you need to be humble. You need to be honest. And even if you find yourself won over by an opposing argument or adversary--even if you lose--you still have won.