It’s crazy that it’s taken me this long to realize it, but it just occurred to me that expecting a return investment on my love, patience, attention, availability, loyalty, and respect doesn’t denote some kind of personal selfishness. Continuing to offer those things without some form of appropriate reciprocation, however, is a sign of limited self-respect. It’s good to expect what you invest in people to be invested back into you. And it’s healthy and ok to walk away if that investment isn’t returned. It doesn’t mean you’re bad, and it doesn’t mean they’re bad. It just means you and that person have different values, interests, attractions, and priorities. It’s not a failure on either person’s part. The failure is in the expectation that you can move someone else to feel and act how you do, and to resent yourself or them when those expectations aren’t realized. Just be good. Be kind. Put things out there, and if they don’t come back in a way that works for you, move along. Simple.
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