Man of the People

I’m sitting outside of Wal-Mart in a tank top and gas station hat waiting for my son to come out. I’m listening to The Bloodhound Gang with my windows down, but not too loudly. A young family (husband+wife+young male child) parks next to me in a really nice car, and gets out dressed very nicely, and the husband clocks me and the music I’m listening to and smiles, then gets the wife’s attention, points at me, and says, ‘See? Wal-Mart.’ and they both laugh.

I’m still processing this.

The Real Heroes

After 39 years on this planet, I can say definitively that the human beings I feel the most empathy for and solidarity with are the restaurant employees sneaking out to the dumpster to quickly smoke as much of a cigarette as they can before someone comes looking for them.

Be An Informed Voter!

I created a Venn Diagram re: the upcoming presidential election that is 100% accurate and I hope you will find useful.

Acquiescence

I just realized I have probably never said the word ‘acquiescence’ out loud in my life. I’m a little worried I’m going to try to shoehorn it in somewhere in the coming days inappropriately.

Gas Station Ladies

The middle-aged ladies who work 3rd shift at gas stations are always so nice. I wonder if there are ever lonely insomniacs who consciously or subconsciously make up an excuse to go in and buy something just to have a nice woman call them baby/sugar/doll/honey, etc. When they tell you to have a good morning you really believe it.

Those Who Do Not Move

I’ll probably regret this
But I’m going to do it anyway
I’ll probably regret this
But I’m going to do it anyway

The only way to learn what is hot
Is to pass your hand across the fire

This is probably going to hurt
But I’m going to say it out loud
This is probably going to hurt
But I’m going to say it out loud

Better to be cast out for my words
Than to choke on the blood of a bitten tongue

I know I’m going to die
So I might as well grab this moment
I know it and I know it well
So I will grab this moment

I will inhabit it and mark it and spray paint the walls
Yes, I will leave my stink all over it

A Moment

I am currently very sick, and had to drive to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription, but didn’t feel well enough to make the full trip home, so I pulled over at a local park, rolled down my windows, and fell asleep. When I woke up, some mail man was pulled up next to me—presumably on his lunch break—listening to an audiobook about string theory. When I first looked at him about 30 minutes ago, he had his arms crossed over his chest and was very clearly listening intently and nodding his head at parts. I’ve listened along with him for awhile, but am going to head home and go back to bed. I wanted to document this though, because it was a nice experience.

The Police Are Rioting

Has anyone else ever wondered how they decide which ‘cool cop’ videos they have stored up to roll out whenever some police officer somewhere does something horrible? I have to guess it depends on the national response. People mad online? Here’s a video of a cop taking time to tie an Ethiopian boy’s shoes on the subway. People taking over police precincts and burning things down? Holy shit, pull out the classic ‘cop pulls kid over and is amazed when he finds out kid can juggle’. 

The bottom line is, if you are of the people, and you see the people rising up, make sure not to participate in the dampening of that righteous fire by spreading ‘good cop’ propaganda. They have guns and power. They don’t need you to advocate for them, or to muddy the water. There really is no middle ground.

* Also, here’s a social media challenge: keep in mind how many woke white liberals were talking about police reform right after George Floyd’s death. Remember the reforms and abolitions they either directly supported or co-signed while that was the hot story. Notice how nothing changed. Keep talking about the issue. Notice the white liberal silence. Then remember what taking over a police precinct in Minneapolis, and then in Seattle, actually accomplished. They don’t count votes, but they do notice when their shit gets caught on fire.

Get Hyped!

"If you are immune to boredom, there is literally nothing you cannot accomplish." - David Foster Wallace

Just remember the movie It Follows: your goals are the people who have inherited the curse, and you are the monster slowly and laboriously pursuing them. They will have to sleep eventually, but not you. No, you will keep coming.

I’m pretty sure that is the creepiest motivational advice I can offer.

Family Values

There are 3 people I love the most

The father the son and the Holy Ghost

Don’t have anything to do with my folks
We’re just sitting here cracking jokes:

I’m down with Langston still coming up

Down with Jack he don’t give a fuck

I roll with Eliot he’s on his way

And homosexuals? 

You know they all gay

We all know Bush did 9-11

We all know this moment

This is heaven

We out here chilling 

Talking all kinds of shit

And our souls?

They’re all well lit

I do the dishes

And I sweep the floors

We’re talking about

What are we here for?

We don’t know,

But it’s all good

We don’t know

So maybe you should

Pack it up,

Light it up,

Make it up,

Fire it up,

Just do something

Do what you like,

Don’t do nothing,

It’s alright.

I’m just saying

I love my kids

I’m no philosopher

God or prince

But I know we’re making good

On our promise

There is no line

No space between us

I do the dishes

And I sweep the floors

We’re talking about

What are we here for?

We don’t know,

But it’s all good

We don’t know

So maybe you should

Pack it up,

Light it up,

Make it up,

Fire it up,

Just do something

Do what you like,

Don’t do nothing,

It’s alright.

Ever since I was very young, it has bothered me to throw any disposable receptacle I am using away without it’s lid. I don’t know if it’s because I took the Brave Little Toaster too seriously when I saw it in kindergarten, or what, but when I was a little boy I definitely anthropomorphized both the bottle and the lid, and hated the thought that they would be separated due to my carelessness after spending so much time together. I just lost the lid to my water, and am hoping maybe this split up will actually be a positive change for both of them.

The End of the Movie

One of the scariest things about Donald Trump—and the thing that finally pushed me to commit to voting for Joe Biden—is the fact that he lives for TV ratings, and that is literally ALL he lives for (he is a sociopath with no actual Ideology). In his mind, history begins and ends with him, and the world is watching, and he knows he has to make the end of the story dynamite, so it will live long past him. At this point, his main goal—as an elderly, unhealthy man with only a few years left—has to be to deliver a shocking, chart topping ending to the only story that matters, which is of course his story. We got a preview of his story arc when he had peaceful protesters tear gassed so he could do a photo-op with an upside down bible, but I am terrified to think of what dramatic moves he will make in the final scene of the movie, especially if he realizes he is losing his re-election to someone as cartoonish as Joe Biden. Here is to hoping the narcissistic fantasies of this sad man’s dying brain cause as few human casualties as possible.

Compassion

I just want to say, I had to cancel some appointments with clients today due to me needing a sick day, and the fact that 100% of their responses were to express understanding and to wish me well, was heartbreakingly beautiful. These young people are either homeless or on the verge of homelessness, and still manage to be compassionate and patient...It is an admirable and humbling trait I’m not sure I could emulate if I was in such danger.

Driving Ettiquette

Sincere apologies to anyone who recognizes me on the road and honks to say hello, and just sees me stare dumbly in their general direction. That’s a real small response window, and when I’m driving I am normally deep into my own thoughts. To decide whether or not I should wave or flip someone off in that kind of space is virtually impossible.

So You Want To Be A Comrade

When you live in an immoral society, the only way to be virtuous is to commit crimes. If it can’t get you locked up, if it won’t be put on your permanent record—or come up when a potential employer googles you after an interview—it’s not solidarity.

School of the Americas

If ANTIFA is a terrorist organization now, does that mean the C.I.A. is going to start funding us? Because I could really use the support for my mortgage and student loans. Plus, one of my sons has a birthday coming up.

Make America Fascist Again

Donald Trump might be the stupidest person ever, along with his other gross and pathetic character traits.

1. ANTIFA is not an organization. It’s an idea. It’s a way of life, really. Think Captain America.

2. ANTIFA, for those unaware, means Anti-Fascist.

3. Welcome to the America where the President deems being Anti-Fascist a terrorist act.

At the very least, at least all the masks are off, and everyone knows exactly who everyone else is.