Speaking the Truth

I don't think we talk about the things we really believe. We tend to take those things as givens, and just leave them alone. The things we talk about are things we are trying to sell to others and ourselves. It's that kernel of insecurity that leads us to articulate our ideas. We hope that others will buy it so that we might fully buy it, and we hope that if we say it well enough we'll genuinely buy it too. Every prophet, intellectual, preacher, and professor is speaking out of need. They are trying to believe something in the hope that it will make them fully real. A fully actualized person would probably rarely speak at all.

True Greatness

"The errors of great men are more fruitful than the truths of little men." - Nietzsche

In our capitalism-ridden culture, we tend to mistake greatness with economic viability. In truth, many of the greatest among us are impoverished, and most of the leeches of society are living off of inheritance and privilege. Greatness is of the spirit. Little people are cultural sheep, content to live by the dictates of their societies and religions. They are conventional. They are boring. Great people transcend their cultural setting and historical moment in their spirit. Spirit is everything. Rockefeller, JP Morgan, Henry Ford... They weren't great men. They were savages with spears acting on their basest animal instincts. Their progeny are even less great. The great person is most often not one known by history, but probably someone you know personally. They probably frustrate and confuse the sheep amongst us. They will definitely make the sheep uncomfortable, and they should: Wolves always make sheep uncomfortable.

UDF

Langston: hey daddy...
Me: yes?
Langston: I know what UDF means.
Me: What does it mean?
Langston: Unattended Dairy Farmers.

Imagine all of the unattended dairy farmers out there, no adults in sight, milking whatever they want.

On True Love

I'm starting to think that the only philosophy true love and compassion can arise from is nihilism. Once we accept how meaningless everything is, then we are truly free to embrace beauty, feel empathy for our fellow sufferers (all here by no fault of their own) and seek joy as an end unto itself. For anything to mean anything, maybe we first have to let go of everything. 

Cats

I walked into my kitchen this morning at 3am, and this is what I encountered. What does it mean?

Looking to the Future

Assuming we oust Trump in 2020 and get two terms of a sane, progressive presidency, here is my pick for 2028. Ocasio-Cortez/Omar 2028!

Ilhan Omar

This is definitely a crossing the aisle moment. A chance for us to come together: republican friends, doesn’t your fellow republican make a lot of sense in this tweet? You should definitely donate money to Ilhan Omar’s re-election campaign.

Also, fellow leftists, isn’t she wonderful and right, and focused on making a better, more moral USA? We should clearly donate too.

Toaster Strudels

It is an absolute scandal in my house when there is one fewer icing packet in the box than there are toaster strudels. The fear creeps in: is one of my children a capitalist?

Innovative Business Model

I would like to propose a reverse strip club, where naked people rhythmically put on layer after layer of clothes. By the end of the song they should no longer be able to move.

Poetry

The religious mind cheapens poetry by insisting that it also be literally true; the mountains do not actually hear your cries. Your heart does not tell you who to love. The Sand Man doesn't seduce you to sleep, there are no Gods in heaven, and there is no heaven. Poetry is beautiful because it points to things we cannot describe. It allows us to characterize that which cannot be adequately characterized by plain language. Poetry points to something higher (or lower) without being that higher or lower thing. The lord is truly with us, but that is because the lord is something we have invented.

Different Kinds of Churches

When I was 18, some jocks from my high school took me to a strip club near my house called Deja Vu and paid for me to get a lap dance. It was the only strip club I've ever been to, and I befriended the girl who gave me a lap dance. Her name was Dominique, and we ended up talking about religion for about an hour after she finished her dance. That strip club is now a church. I'm tempted to visit someday just to see if the preacher left the pole in. If so, I wonder if he uses it during the services.

Freedom

Western countries who say they are attempting to liberate women from Islamic oppression by banning the hijab are actually doing the same thing as countries who require women to wear the hijab. In both situations, the woman is not given a choice. The true liberators are the women who refuse to wear a hijab when required, and those who continue to wear the hijab when they are not allowed. In summary, allowing people to express themselves as they see fit, based upon their own choices and value system, and cheering on those who do, is the only real way to promote freedom.

Top Secret Wall Design Revealed!

Did you guys know trump’s original immigration plan involved TWO walls? A source inside the White House just leaked the original blueprint to me. Insidious.

❤️

My 13 year old drew this picture of us hugging (because he didn’t get to give me a hug after school yesterday because I had to work late) and just texted it to me. My heart immediately melted.

Good, Good Membries!

For awhile now I’ve noticed that whenever my youngest son is really happy or having a good time, he gets this chill of joy that seems to lightly shake his body. When I mentioned it to him he told me that whenever that happens, he also says to himself ‘Good, good membries!’ It was so sweet to hear that, so I scheduled a reminder in my phone for every Monday morning that says ‘Good, good membries!’

Buy the Book

The Parachutist in Love, by Spencer Troxell

I Write Parodies in my Sleep

What does it say about me that my first thought this morning was ‘Weird Al should do a parody of Cardi B’s ‘Money’, call it ‘Honey’, and make it about Winnie the Pooh’?

All a bad bear needs is honey.

Demographic Anecdote

Fact: everyone I have ever met who was worried about ‘Social Justice Warriors’, ‘Leftist brainwashing’, ‘P.C. culture/censorship’ on college campuses never went to college.

Efficiency

All three of my sons are cleaning the house, and I just said ‘thank you!’ to one of them for their hard work, but two of them responded ‘You’re welcome!’. Two birds with one stone. Maximum gratitude-efficiency achieved. It’s like when you say hi to one person, and the person behind them also returns the greeting.

The Ideal Couple