S: Marvin Hooks, you are five years old. What do you want to be when you grow up?
M: I’m five years old. I’m too young to answer a question like that. I just started riding my bike without training wheels. Ask me again in two years.
S: Marvin, it’s two years later. What would you like to be when you grow up?
M: Spencer, I’m glad you asked. I often go down to the woods behind my house and watch the bats fly around the streetlights. There is at least one bat that does figure-eights, and another that swoops down very low.
S: Why are there streetlights in the woods behind your house?
M: Because there are no woods behind my house. I live in the suburbs, and I can’t say for sure I’ve ever actually seen a tree. The bats in my neighborhood have taken to inhabiting telephone poles and mailboxes. Classic Darwinian adaptation.
S: Do you believe in God Marvin?
M: No one can be certain Spencer, but I try to take it easy on the pork products.
S: In conclusion, is there anything you regret?
M: There have been a few times when I forgot to unzip my pants while urinating.
S: Sounds like dark times.
M: Times to grow Spencer. Times to grow.