Saturday, March 23, 2013

Recent Status Updates

3/22: Whenever I see two people jogging, I like to imagine the person in the back is chasing the person in the front. Today I saw a young guy in pretty good shape jogging, and about fifteen feet behind him there was an older, heavy set guy kind of huffing along. Looking at the older guy I thought, "There's no way he's going to catch that guy...Dude is definitely going to get away".

3/22: Sometimes I feel like I've barely amassed enough wisdom to advise my kids on their elementary school trials and tribulations. Hopefully I'll have collected enough of the good stuff to advise them through their teens, twenties, and thirties by the time they reach those stages. Parenting is a humbling vocation.

3/21: Jesus wants you to be a sheep, baby; I want you to be the wolf that I know you are.

3/20: People waste years and years studying the intricacies of a given issues when it turns out all they really needed to understand EVERY issue was to just tune into a couple of hours of conservative talk radio every weekday.

3/20: Confession: I spend very little time thinking about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

3/19: Fuck today right in the ass.

3/16: The next time a comic company decides to kill off one of its most popular heroes to boost sales, I hope they don't have the character die in an epic battle to save the universe. It would be better if they died because they got drunk and forgot to turn the gas stove off, and then fell asleep with a lit cigarette in their hand. Wolverine comes to mind.

3/15: I can't think of a less rewarding job than being a wwf ref. Nobody listens to those guys.

3/15: I feel bad for all of the women in my life because they have to deal with me, but I don't know what I would do without them. They're the only reasonable people I know.

3/13: I think it's funny when people start to speculate about a new pope's potential move towards more modern views on social issues. I am sure there have been plenty of gay popes, but i doubt a pope will ever endorse gay marriage. I'm glad for that, too. It just hastens the church's journey to obscurity, and provides a needed shadow to the light of progress, reason, and humanism.

3/13: I like it when there is snow on the roof of music hall. It's pretty.

3/12: Hey, do you guys remember Sarah Palin? What the fuck was that all about?

3/11: Let's get old and fat together.

3/10: I chastise my kids for picking their noses, but i pick my nose all the time.

3/10: Reading accounts of the tribulations of afflicted artists in Kay Redfield Jamison's 'touched with fire', it occurs to me that if god had really wanted to make Christ suffer, he would have given him manic-depression instead of sending him to the cross.

No comments: