I left a frying pan full of bacon grease on the stove top to cool, with the intention of scooping it out and throwing it away in the morning. Unfortunately, my dog, who is a tall person, managed to take the pan off the oven last night and eat all of the grease. Even though I had to spend the first part of the morning cleaning up the Goopy, Lovecraftian shit that resulted in, I still expect this to be a good day. Nice try, Satan.
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