On the one hand, I have this constant performance anxiety. I
want to avoid committing atrocities, and—if possible—I’d like to perform little
acts of goodness here and there. ‘Be ashamed to die until you have won some victory
for humanity’*.
On the other hand, I
don’t want to be bored, and I don’t know what to do with myself. There really
aren’t any instructions for life—I mean, there are, but they’re radically
inconsistent and varied—so it’s really anyone’s guess. It’s like when you go to
the doctor’s office and have to read the magazines in the waiting area to pass
the time. They’re never magazines you’re terribly interested in, but you read
them. You learn a little something about the Kardashians, and maybe read an
article on managerial empowerment. The doctor’s appointment is the big deal,
but it’s not like he’s going to just come out and meet with you in the waiting
area. There are protocols. “Everyone, deep in their heart, is waiting for the
end of the world to come”^. That’s me.
One good way to pass the time is to engage in art.
According to Werner Herzog's The Cave of Forgotten Dreams, neanderthals didn't do cave paintings. Homo sapiens did,
and the movie is about a particularly wonderful and historic set of them in
Chauvet cave in southern France. The paintings are beautiful, and
Herzog--reliably--transfers a sense of awe to the audience.
It seems that humans have always used the arts as a tool for
making sense of the world around them. That's part of the reason they're my
favorite animals. It's probably part of the reason we do terrible things too:
our ability to think abstractly enables us to build and to destroy in equally
creative ways. It's easy to get caught up in this aspect of our nature. How
terrible we can be. But if we weren't us, we wouldn't be making such assessments.
We would be moving along as all of our fellow-animals do; drinking, fucking,
eating, shitting, sleeping. Not that this is blameworthy. It's not. We're just
gifted with the ability to take a meta-view of things when we are so inclined.
And we also get bored. I wonder if the reason we get bored is because
we know we’re going to die. I don’t know if pigs get bored. I think I remember
hearing that they do. Whatever the case, they definitely don’t make art while
they’re bored. Pigs on Bob Evans factory farms never leave behind bleak existential
memoirs the way some survivors of Stalin’s gulags did. Or at least I’ve never
heard about that happening.
From the very beginning humans have found activities that fill the time between now and the big appointment with color, as well as lending it a deeper meaning. Art is a tool for escape; we can't escape out the beginning or the end, but we seem to be able to expand the space in the middle. At least conceptually. That's cool.
From the very beginning humans have found activities that fill the time between now and the big appointment with color, as well as lending it a deeper meaning. Art is a tool for escape; we can't escape out the beginning or the end, but we seem to be able to expand the space in the middle. At least conceptually. That's cool.
*Horace Mann
^ Haruki Murakami
Great blog, Spencer.
ReplyDeleteAs a guy with a blog called Intermission, you know I can really relate when you describe "the time between now and the big appointment." GreAt post all around!
ReplyDeleteYou are the thinking man Spencer. Great blog.
ReplyDeleteI just got your book and love it. Also it's just the right size for leveling my coffee tables short leg.
Speaking of that book, did you get that address I sent?
ReplyDeleteDan: Thank you sir.
ReplyDeleteWillie: I like that you call me 'the' thinking man. People should remember that. Thanks for buying the book. It's also good for starting bonfires.
Lodo: Got it. I'll be sending you a copy as soon as I am able.
Nice. Thanks yo.
ReplyDelete