You are the Bomb

Because my brain works in the way that it does, and because I am its slave, I’ve spent the last fifteen minutes lying in bed, creating one of those ‘there are two types of people’ metaphors, but I’m afraid it’s quickly spiraling out of control and I will never be permitted to sleep. 

I started with:

There are 2 types of people:those who design the bomb, and those who drop the bomb.

But then I realized, actually, there are 4 types of people: those who design the bomb, those who build the bomb, and...wait...there are also those who get the bomb dropped on them. So, 5 types of people.

My brain was momentarily satisfied, so it allowed me to begin drifting off to sleep. But as my mind started to relax, I realized in horror that there are many, many more types of people:

There are people who pay for the bomb. There are people who protest the bomb. There are people who see the bomb as necessary. There are people who use the bomb as a centerpiece of their wider global strategy as leverage. There are people who write about the bomb. There are people who use the bomb as a metaphor. There are people who dream about the bomb. There are people sexually aroused by the bomb. There are people who stopped worrying and learned to love the bomb. And there is me, a person who is losing sleep over all the different types of people that exist vis-à-vis the bomb, and worrying that this metaphor has become far too unwieldy for common use. Actually, I’m starting to doubt entirely how useful it has ever been to boil the entire human population down to two types in the first place.