A Wonderful Exchange

I thoroughly enjoyed this. Richard Dawkins interviewing George Coyne for The Genius of Charles Darwin. Enjoy:

The Tree in My Front Yard

has flowers on it.

Autumn is by far my season of preference, but there's still something touching about Spring, even though it makes me sneeze.

I'm going to take some time off of my internet addiction and enjoy the season, before my allergies render me a virtual bubble boy. I've got a couple of yardwork projects planned, like fencing a small open patch in my yard, and fixing an old birdhouse. I'm planning a picnic my wife and kids too.

It's funny how the corporate mentality even leaks into my downtime thinking. This spring break is going to be a search for maximum relaxation results! Always looking at the bottom line. I need to work on that.

This has been one hell of a quarter. I'm looking forward to doing a little bit of non-productive reading. I'm reading The Graveyard Book to my kids, and am looking forward to finishing the Jerry Coyne
book I mentioned a few posts back. The soundtrack to my Spring break is probably going to be Bonnie Prince Billy's new cd Beware, which I expect to arrive in the mail any day now.

It'll be a good time. For our picnic, I'm thinking something simple: Go down to Sawyer Point, lay down a blanket, and bring a variety of cheeses, some grapes, a baguette, and some bottled water. Maybe after that we'll walk into the city and ride the giant mechanical penis, if it's still on display at the Contemporary Art Center.

See you in April!

Your Monthly Mix-tape

I'm thinking about making this a regular Medicine Cabinet Feature.

When I was a nerdy teenager (as opposed to a nerdy adult), I used to make ‘best of’ lists all the time. Best superheroes, best movies, best bands, best books, whatever; as I got older, this penchant for list making transformed into a thing for making mix-tapes and mix CDs, ala High Fidelity. There’s something wonderful about making someone a CD or cassette compilation that is either geared specifically towards them, or just a collection of good songs you thought they might like. Unfortunately, in the age of the MP3 player, there’s less of an excuse to engage in this kind of bonding activity.

I realize that there are tons of magazines that have ‘hot downloads’ lists, but I ask you to think of my track lists differently. These downloads aren’t ‘hot’. They’re just good songs, and reflective of how I’m feeling at the moment of their construction.

And, of course, I made this list just for you.

1.Evidence (LP Version)

2.Love, Love, Love

3.Country Cooking

4.The Devil In The Kitchen


5.Autumn's Here

6.Akua Ewie (LP Version)

7.Violence (2007 Digital Remaster)

8.I'll Be Glad

9.The Ghost of Henry Thomas Hunt


10.November

"Pentagon Rethinking Old Doctrine On 2 Wars"

Is the title of a recent New York Time's piece. For some reason when I read this, I couldn't shake the memory of an interaction that I had with a young customer while I was working at a bookstore a couple of years back. I was behind the cash register, and this kid comes up to the counter with three or four dungeons and dragons books, each costing somewhere between 20 and 40 dollars. The kid was probably fifteen or so.

I rang up the books, gave him the total in the mid to high 100's, and he opens his wallet and pulls out a ten dollar bill. He seems uncomfortable for a moment, looking at me, and then down at his 10, and then back at me. He says, 'hang on'. He runs over to the comic book rack and comes running back with two Batman comics.

"I think I'll just get these." He says.

Why Evolution Is True

It's exam week, and I'm swamped. I don't have a typical end of the week post for you, but I can recommend a good book. For the past couple of days, I've been reading a book called Why Evolution Is True every night before I go to bed, and my dreams have been full of dinosaurs. In a good way.

Reset

We’ve all had the experience of buying a new car and then seeing exact copies of the thing all over the place. It’s part of who we are. We’re pattern seeking animals.

I think our pattern seeking behavior penetrates deeper than just looking for connections in the world around us. I think we also look for patterns within ourselves, and then look to our external environment to validate our suspicions. The religious person may say that God compelled them to do X by creating an environment where X was most likely to be done. Occam's Razor lets us know that God probably doesn’t tell us anything by creating patterns in our environment. The reality of what is occurring is that we—responding to some form of stimuli—are making decisions about our future or the situations we would like to be in, and then attributing the decision to go in that direction to God, or karma, or whatever. The person living around a steadily shrinking pond in the desert isn’t being compelled by God to leave the desert. He’s being compelled by the situation. Because uprooting yourself, or trying out a high-risk idea for your life can be scary, it’s pretty easy to imagine why someone would place some divine force behind their decision for the appearance of insurance.

I’m experiencing a moment like this currently. Lately it seems that everywhere I go, in everything I read, and in every conversation I have, there is an underlying theme of resetting. Wiping the slate clean, and starting from scratch. A church I was invited to recently asked me to reset my notions of who I thought Jesus was. Hillary Clinton is traveling the globe talking about ‘resetting’ relationships with various countries. A key plot point in the movie Watchmen* is about resetting mankind. Conservatives are saying we should let the market reset by allowing floundering businesses to fail, and so on. There are more, but you get the point.

Now, I could attribute this to God (especially since he factors into one of the key examples above), but I won’t. What I am seeing, hearing, and feeling in my internal and external environment are projected cues. They are themes that could’ve probably been found at any point in my life, but are noticed now because they resonate, and validate my inclination with an appearance of uniformity. It’s like these instances knit together to form a safety net below me as I contemplate a jump from a very high surface. These things (that aren’t really coincidences) are reassuring.

This spring, I’ll be getting my bachelor’s degree, and applying for graduate school. I’ll be looking for a high paying job that will justify my pursuit of higher education these last six years. I’m spending more structured time with my kids, and I’ve recently changed a few personal habits that will hopefully make me a healthier, more energetic person. I’m working harder in school than I ever have, and am re-evaluating the usefulness of some of my attitudes. I even bought a new laptop, and didn’t bother to transfer all of my older writings onto it in the name of starting anew. A reset is coming in my life, and I am turning the world around me into a giant affirmation of positive change. We look for meaning because life seems easier when all of the puzzle pieces lock together. It is easier to suppress thoughts when we have an overarching and unified meta-view of things.Sure, our cognitive short cuts and tendencies towards myth-making and generalizing can often cause us problems, but they’ve also been an evolutionary boon. The man who sits under a tree all day pondering the true definition of beauty is probably less able to evade predators than the simple-thinking alpha male whose sole concern is getting more food and reproducing.

Of course, we’re further along now than we were in those loin-clothed glory days. But some of those primitive functions have evolved along with us, and can still be quite useful. I’m going to heed the cues I’ve hidden in my environment, and take solace in their reassurance. I’m ready to reset.

Now, where’s that button…

*Here’s a controversial statement: I actually thought the movie was better than the book. However good it was, Moore’s comic contained some fluff, and a few unnecessary plot points, aka, the giant space squid. Snyder’s squid replacement was much more practical, and (in my opinion) tightened the story line up. Other than those minor tweaks, the movie was the single most faithful movie adaptation of a book I have ever seen.

Something For The Weekend

One of America's jazz giants does his thing:

The Omelet Eludes Me

I’m a good cook, but the omelet eludes me. It’s not the ingredients. I use all kinds of cheeses, beans, onions, oils, vegetables, celeries, fishes, spices, salsas, mushrooms, and tomatoes. I put my eggs into a big bowl and whip them with a fork, and then gently pour them onto the warming oil in my pan; which is wide enough, with edges low enough to allow easy access to my spatula, but high enough to keep the oil from dripping over the side. I am patient with my omelets. I am thoughtful about their intentions.

All of that goes fine, according to plan. It’s when I go to close up the omelet that the anxiety comes: This has all happened before. As I move to seal up this morning’s omelet (shredded cheddar, fresh pico de gallo, and chopped steak mushrooms), Epictetus is standing by elbow. “The omelet is beyond your control Spencer. If it tears when you fold it, it tears when you fold it. Turn it into scrambled eggs."

I see Sisyphus, rolling his boulder up and down the mountainside for all of eternity. There I am, at the foot of the mountain, cooking omelets for him, for a breakfast that he will never come to. The oil pops on my arms, and the mutilated omelets pile up behind me. A mountain of omelets. Maybe someday we will roll a giant kidney bean up and down it’s surface. Maybe someone will plant a plastic fork at it’s peak.

Ray Bradbury’s famous advice comes to mind. “Jump off the cliff and build your omelet on the way down.”

I think of the French count trying to blend in with the rabble during the years of upheaval. When asked by an innkeeper how many eggs he wanted in his omelet, his privileged mind—not used to thinking about such things--came up with the answer Douze. Except in this scenario, it’s not the Count that is guillotined, it’s me: The cook’s assistant. I had been turning omelets into scrambled eggs all day long, and here comes the rabble (the Count among them) with pitchforks and torches.

I believe I am a good cook, but the omelet eludes me.

I also believe in the strenuous life. Even if the promise of heaven is uncertain, make your hands useful. Find something to believe in, and pursue it with vigor. I believe in the omelet, Epictetus. I don’t want to make scrambled eggs anymore.

‘You can’t control the omelet.’ Epictetus says. I nod in understanding, but still (with fear and trembling), I descend my spatula into the bubbling oil.

"Life Is Long If You Give It Away"

Great song, great performance. David Byrne always keeps things fresh:

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

David Byrne Pt. 2

Colbert Report Full Episodes
Political Humor

Rap Battle
Joke of the Day

An Excerpt From My Interview With God

Since today is my birthday, God decided to sit down with me for a little interview, you know, to clear up any confusion I may have.

Yes Larry King, that's right. I landed God first.

I should probably also tell you that out of all the famous people I've interviewed, God was by far the coolest. He was relaxed, he joked around with my assistant and I, and you could tell his assistant was very well taken care of; The relationship was almost familial, but totally professional.

And he also brought me this birthday cake (which he baked himself, and was quite good):



The Interview:

Me: God, thanks for sitting down with me. This really is a pleasant surprise.

GOD: No problem Spencer. I loved your book.

Me: Oh, wow. Thanks. Too bad we couldn't get you to do a blurb. (God & I exchange friendly laughter)

GOD: And happy birthday, too. It's pretty awesome that your birthday is on the same day as Dr. Seuss's, don't you think?

Me: Yeah, thanks. Yeah, it's really cool to share a birthday with Dr. Seuss. I love him. I read his books to my kids all the time. 'Oh, The Places You'll Go' was one of the most formative books in my life.

GOD: Green Eggs and Ham is also very important...So, I'm here to answer a question for you. That's your birthday present (that, and the cake). One question answered by God. This is a rare and important opportunity for you, and it's not an opportunity I often offer. So...what'll it be?

Me: Oh, wow. I don't know. I mean, you don't actually expect this day to come...do you have any suggestions?

GOD: Well, the 'why' questions are always popular. 'Why am I here?', 'Why is there suffering?', 'Why don't you reveal yourself to mankind?', you know, questions like that.

Me: (I furrow my brow in thought) Well, probably not. No, I don't think I'll ask those questions.

GOD: Why not?

Me: I don't see what good it would do. Not much cash value to having the answer to that.

GOD: William James and Epictetus. An interesting cocktail. So what can I do for you Spencer?

Me: Well, how about some advice? Maybe something like a reader's digest version of some good things to avoid, and some good things to get involved with. Like a list of some kind. a handful of, oh, I don't know...

GOD: Commandments?

Me: Exactly...oh. Ha ha. Yes, a handful of commandments or suggestions or something that are more personally tailored to me.

GOD: Okay, that's a good one. Let's see. Well, let's start with the proactive stuff, because I'm more of a 'yes we can' kind of God than people often give me credit for being. Here we go:

1. Be skeptical, not cynical. There's a difference, and it's big.
2. Don't marry yourself to your worldview.
3. Try your hardest at everything you do.
4. Be good to others, and be good to yourself.

And for the 'thou shalt not's', I'll say, stay away from drugs, religion, and credit cards, and you'll be in a good place.

Me: Those things all sound easy enough to do.

GOD: Maybe harder than you think.

Me: Stay away from drugs, religion, and credit cards? Isn't that a little extreme?

GOD: Well Spencer, you wanted them personalized. Sure, it's possible for a person to engage in any of those activities responsibly, but it's also necessary to 'know thyself'. And I know you. You have poor impulse control. It would make things alot easier for you to just steer clear.

Me: Okay. I can see that.

GOD: And don't forget the proactive stuff either. People are always worrying about the things I tell them not to do, and not thinking enough about the things I tell them they should do. It's relatively easy to not do things, and it's even easier to tell other people not to do things. Doing things, now, that takes something else.

Me: It's surprising that you told me to stay away from religion.

GOD: (sighs in a way that is both frustrated and loving) Well, you shouldn't be surprised, because I'm not really God. I'm just a vehicle you created to validate your own worldview and philosophy. People have been using me for that purpose since the beginning of time.

Me: Right. Well God, thanks for answering my question.

GOD: Happy birthday Spencer. I'll tell Dr. Seuss you said 'hello'.

God exits in a whirlwind. Our assistants exchange phone numbers. I think they're going to get together sometime to play racquetball.

They Will Scream When They See What We Have Done

by me. I'm really fond of this poem. I'd love to hear your thoughts.

And please be sure to read everything else over at Sir!. The art for this issue is beautiful, and the content is solid. I'm extremely sympathetic to the aesthetic that (I think) Brian Foley is going for. Here's to issues 3,4,5...etc.

If you enoy the art for this issue as much as I do, go check out E.B. Goodale's website. Many lovely things to be seen.

This is the song that plays every time I walk into a room:

This Editing Life

An email I sent to Matt DiGangi regarding the first batch of poetry submissions I reviewed for The Jargon:

Matt,

lol. It's fun to receive an email from a complete stranger that starts out very formal and complementary, and transforms as it goes into a diatribe about finger-fucking someone's knife wounds and tentacle rape. You must look forward to opening your email every day.

I sent rejection letters for most of these poems. The gist of all of the rejections was 'we're going to have to pass on these, but thanks for considering us'. I thought a couple people were promising, so I gave them some more specific encouragement.

Garrison Keillor says in his 'Good Poems' Anthology that some poems are '...like condoms on the beach, evidence that someone was here once and had an experience, but not of great interest to the passerby.' So far, those are pretty much my thoughts exactly about this first bunch.

I can tell this experience is going to deepen my understanding of what makes a good poem. It will definitely be exciting when I finally come across that beach condom that makes me want to climb inside it.

Thieves Jargon

Last week, Matt Digangi asked me to be the new poetry editor for Thieves Jargon. I said yes, and now it's official.

This should be fun.

Relax, Joy.

Ann Coulter is usually very fun to watch on television, especially when she is being interviewed by sanctimonious liberals who know way less than she does. Coulter is funny, nimble, and relaxed in this interview: The clear victor.

There are too many liberals that are unable to laugh at their own idiosyncracies and ideological shortcomings. After years of being the butt of the joke in so much satire and political comedy, most conservatives have learned to appreciate humor that comes at their expense. Until a larger number of liberals in our country learn the same lesson, Ann Coulter will always have ripe material to mine, and I will continue to be entertained.



"I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it."-Voltaire.

Merely

A line in Sartre's Existentialism Is A Humanism that made me chuckle the first time I read it: "And when we speak of 'abandonment'--One of Heideggers favorite expressions--we merely mean to say that God does not exist, and that we must bear the fully consequences of that assertion'.

ha!

It's Sartre's use of the word merely that gets me. What an underappreciated word, and what a strange word to use to describe the thought that this world is a godless one. There doesn't seem to be anything mere about the existence of God. At least, not in any way I can think about it.

Dictionary.com defines the word this way:

MERELY:
–adverb 1. only as specified and nothing more; simply: merely a matter of form.
2. Obsolete. a. without admixture; purely.
b. altogether; entirely.

Origin:
1400–50; late ME mereli. See mere 1 , -ly


But we discover a more substantial meaning to his use of the word a little further on:

" The existentialist, on the contrary, finds it extremely disturbing that God does not exist, for there disappears with Him all possibility of finding values in an intelligible heaven. There can no longer be any good a priori, since there is no infinite and perfect consciousness to think it. It is nowhere written that “the good” exists, that one must be honest or must not lie, since we are now upon the plane where there are only men. Dostoevsky once wrote: “If God did not exist, everything would be permitted”; and that, for existentialism, is the starting point. Everything is indeed permitted if God does not exist, and man is in consequence forlorn, for he cannot find anything to depend upon either within or outside himself. He discovers forthwith, that he is without excuse. For if indeed existence precedes essence, one will never be able to explain one’s action by reference to a given and specific human nature; in other words, there is no determinism – man is free, man is freedom."

Now, this is a bold statement, and one we need not embrace in totality. Even Sartre was very careful to hedge his bets about the existence of God. You can believe or not believe in God and accept the following proposition: Man is free, and thus must decipher a meaning for himself. He is responsible for his own actions and decisions, and is responsible for the person he chooses to be. No one is born a hero or a coward, therefore no one has a right to resign themselves to accepting such stations. We are what we make ourselves.

The bottom-line question Sartre asks us to ask ourself when deciding (through action) what kind of person we are to be is this: If everyone else in the world acted as I am, would this be a good world?

Apparently there is more to merely than I had initially thought.


the exact opposite of an existential worldview:


*The image at the top of the page comes from www.uri.edu.

Alpha & Omega

Every now and then people get to wondering whether or not Adam and Eve had belly-buttons. The reason people wonder about this is because if these original creatures weren't born of a woman, they wouldn't have needed to receive sustenance through an umbilical cord. I think this is a reasonable question for people to ask. Another reasonable thing for people to ponder about the days in the garden is this: Adam and Eve didn't have umbilical cords, but the apple that they ate off of the tree of knowledge had a stem.

What do you think about that?

I Heart Valentine's Day

I.The following comments about Valentine's Day always irritate me:

1. Valentine's Day is just a made-up holiday that the greeting card industry uses to make a quick buck.

2. My man/woman (usually man) should love me all year 'round. If he/she needs a holiday to remind him/her, I'm not interested.

Sigh.

Regarding the first instance I say, of course Valentine's Day is just a made up holiday. All holidays are just made up holidays. Do you think the first of mankind to crawl out of the primordial sludge was greeted with specific instructions on how to carve the Thanksgiving day turkey? Of course not.

Regarding the second part of the first instance: this is America. We're a capitalist country. to survive in a capitalist society (and any society for that matter), you need to make capital. Besides, what else is the greeting card industry going to make money on?

The second instance is irritating for its solipsism, and its shortsightedness. The solipsism is evident, but the lack of perspective regarding the definitions of who we are that can be derived from the holidays we choose to celebrate, is alarming.

Christmas and Thanksgiving are celebrations of family and communion. They also give us opportunities to be generous and thankful. Halloween provides our children with an opportunity to experiment with different aspects of their personality by playing dress-up, and it's the closest our culture ever comes to acknowledging death. New Year's is a chance to celebrate our successes and reset our goals. It also can serve as a good marker to measure our achievements against.

Valentine's Day is just as important. It's an opportunity for us to celebrate our partnerships, and to meditate on our loves. It's like a New Year's for the heart. And, besides, who doesn't like a little bit of champagne, dark chocolate, and Chet Baker every now and then?

There is also a certain hedonism to Valentine's Day that I find irresistable.

II. For 20+ years, Ted Kooser (a great poet) has been writing a Valentine's Day poem for an ever enlarging list of women, and mailing it to them. "Valentine's Day is a great holiday for the poet...It's not tied up with anything other than expressions of sentiment." Check it out.

III. Here is something of a universal Valentine poem that appeared in my e-book, Mule & Horse. I wrote it in honor of those wonderful devices that carry women from point A to point B.

YOUR LEGS

Your legs
Your olive legs
Your caramel
Snow-white
Ebony
Pink tan legs

Are the scissors
That cut my concentration

Through halls
Designed to indulge echo
You clip
My head
Turns

Your legs
Your thick legs
Your soft
muscled
Thin
Tattooed legs

Should require
A license to operate.

IV. And here's a poem I wrote more specifically for my wife, from the same collection:

LARGE OBJECTS MOVING SLOWLY

As your breasts
make their glacial excursion
towards your hips,

and my balls begin to droop
like a Halloween bag
full of too much candy:

I will pause
(from time to time)
and remember years before:

when our two taut bodies
were so easily entertained
by such equally firm surfaces.

We explored them ruthlessly:
Like conquistadors,
looking for golden cities.

I will smile,
and consider these current days:
Terrain complex. Unpredictable.

A safari nowadays of the many
curves and folds,
may take months of planning.

And only god knows
how many hired natives
will be lost along the way.

V. Have a fun, happy, sexy, wonderfully indulgent & celebratory Valentine's Day everyone!

Flight Of The Conchords:

Robert Ballard Gets Me Excited About Deep Sea Exploration

super cool:

Back & Forth

I found this debate between evolutionist Steve Novella and creationist John Andrew edifying. A good representation of the larger argument.

A Few Things We May Have In Common

On Saturday, My family and I accepted an invitation from a friend to go to church with her. It was one of those big, non-denominational super churches with stadium seating and free coffee.

I didn’t expect to get much out of the experience. I’m an agnostic, and a devoted skeptic:I think this is the main reason my friend invited me. I think she wanted to show me how cool Christians could be.

I don’t think she understood that it wasn’t the coolness of Christians that I doubted. It was the validity of the claims found in their foundational document.

So I sat with my friend, my wife, and my oldest son in the enormous, high-tech amphitheater. My mind kept flashing to images of Richard Dawkins sitting in Ted Haggard’s super-church in The Root Of All Evil. I imagined myself being like that: there to observe. An independent thinker among the faithful.

And then the band began to play. They were good. They sounded and looked like any number of Christian rock groups out there: vaguely ‘alternative’ sounding music played by a handful of goateed young men in skate shoes and beanies. But it sounded good. It was passionate. My son danced in the aisle.

After a short video, the preacher came out and delivered his message on the book of Ezekiel. He was a compelling speaker, and the audience was enrapt. He told us that ‘the world as we know it’ is always ending, and that if we put our faith in worldly things rather than God, we will always be disappointed.

I appreciated the language he used. He reminded the congregation that all nations fall, and that there is nothing special about the U.S.A. He told us that yes, the U.S. was just another nation among many, and it too some day would fall. He told us not to get too comfortable with our taboos and our cultures, because they would go bye-bye too someday.

While I was appreciative of this tone, and the practicality of this message (which could be delivered outside of a religious context just as easily as within), I wasn’t deeply moved. But then the preacher started talking about the way we should interact with each other, essentially saying we should be the most genuine version of ourselves possible. We should be open to new evidence, yes, but we should state boldly those things which we were certain we knew. We should accept challenges to those dearly held ideas, and be willing to change them if we should discover they were wrong. We should proselytize on behalf of that which we knew to be true. And then he showed this video:



The preacher introduced Penn as ‘A famous, crass atheist.’ And at the completion of the clip, simply said, ‘Interesting’, and moved on.

I had been blindsided.

I’m a fan of Penn’s persona, and share a lot of his ideas. He’s a fun, thoughtful character that I associated with my little sphere of resources. I was surprised to see his face on the jumbotron at a super-church, and even more surprised to see it up there as an example of a viewpoint the preacher agreed with.

Penn’s word’s touched me, and at that moment I realized that I wasn’t so different than the people in the seats around me. It’s very easy to go through life in this country playing it safe, not speaking our minds on controversial issues, being p.c., and generally not delving too deeply into who we really are or what we really believe. That wasn’t the case with me, and it didn't seem to be the case with the other people in that audience. We were all people willing to stand up and claim our beliefs. We were all a bunch of dry bones looking for answers. At that moment, I felt connected to everyone around me.

Were I the kind of person to believe such things, I would think it was more than coincidental that the preacher chose to tie a meditation from Penn Jillette into his sermon. It would almost seem like he was saying, ‘That’s right Spencer. You’re an Agnostic. You don’t know for certain that I’m here, and you’re even less inclined to believe that I’ve ever dictated a book to any group of human beings, anywhere. Good. That’s who you are. Don’t feel bad about it. Be brave. This is who you are.’

But of course, that would be a silly thing for God to say.